When I am truly overwhelmed and depressed, you can find me on the recliner in my family room, escaping into the pages of a dirty book. One of my all-time favourite dirty books is Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren (Simon & Schuster, 2103) two best friends who write as a team — doesn’t that sound like the most fun ever? Beautiful Bastard is like the sparkly pink unicorn of contemporary romance novels, it is both dirty and smart. Most books aren’t both.

Why smut?

 “But Dana,” you say, “why are you writing about dirty books? Isn’t this a blog about depression?”  The answer is simple, yes depression is the focus of my blog but as a depressionista, I have to do fun stuff too or else I’ll just get more depressed. And nothing is more fun than a deliciously dirty book, that makes me laugh — unless it’s a deliciously dirty book that makes me laugh and is the first in a series of funny filthy books. 

Depressionista — (n) One who is depressed, but by God, she is fabulous!

That’s right my loves, first in a series. If you enjoy Beautiful Bastard, you can move on to Beautiful Stranger and work way through Beautiful Player, Beautiful Secret and finish with Beautiful. If you’re really into it, you could even read the short stories that take place between the stand-alone books. I personally didn’t love the short stories but if you’re ambitious and in a bad enough mood, you might not have to talk to anyone for days. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

About Beautiful Bastard

Now onto Beautiful Bastard. Our heroine is Chloe, a beautiful, whip-smart MBA student who’s an intern at Bennet’s family’s company. Bennet (the bastard) has been working in France for a while but he’s back now and the powers that be have decided Chloe will be the perfect intern for Bennet. 

In classic enemies-to-lovers romantic-style, they both try to resist the attraction. Bennet acts like a grade A douche because he can’t help being attracted to her but knows it’s inappropriate to seduce his intern. Chloe can’t deny her boss is hot but also hates his rotten, condescending attitude. She reacts to his douchery with the kind of bitchy swagger I dream of emulating one day. 

Chloe is the woman I’ve always wanted to be. She doesn’t cry when her boss is a jerk, she just puts him in his place with hilarious and scathing comments and continues on her way. I mean, obviously starting out your career by screwing your boss is a bad idea but the attraction is so powerful that neither of them can resist. Shenanigans ensue. And when I say ensue, I mean everywhere! In a meeting room pressed up against the window, in the stairwell… you name the place, Chloe and Bennet have probably had quick (and very dirty) sex there. 

Of course, in the spirit of all good romantic novels, their love doesn’t really start to bloom until they go away together on a business trip. They spend quality time together and realize their attraction is more than physical. There’s something deeper there. But something happens to put their fledgling relationship in jeopardy. Will they make it? You’ll have to read it to find out.

How does it rate?

Beautiful Bastard is a great escape. I mean, what could be further from my reality than having sex in an office stairwell. Not much. I mean, first of all, I’m essentially a housewife and I write this blog from home. Carson’s bedroom overlooks my stairwell as do the living room window and front door. Needless to say, no matter how frisky I’m feeling, our stairwell doesn’t see a lot of action. Also, it’s hardwood, so — ouch.

Anywho, if you love dirty books too — or if you think you might, I highly recommend Beautiful Bastard. Feeling shy? Download it on your phone — that way no one will even know that you’re reading something very naughty while you’re waiting for the nurse to call your kid’s name at the doctor’s office. And if you have a whole hour to kill on the commute home, people will think you’re very busy and important because you’ll be glued to your phone. A word of warning though, you’d better bring a fan, baby because this book is hot!

Grade: A

2 Comments on Beautiful Bastard

    • OMG! I can’t believe my writing convinced you — my favourite English teacher — to try a dirty book. This is epic.

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