I’ve spent 30 years searching for the perfect mascara and I think I’ve finally found the one.

Plunk. Plunk.

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of my eyelashes hitting my glasses.

Plunk. Plunk.

Hey, there’s that noise again! I’ve been hearing it a lot lately, thanks to my Caution Extreme Lash mascara by Hourglass ($36 at Sephora.) If you could see me right now, you would see that I have crazy long eyelashes — so long, in fact, they sometimes hit my glasses when I blink. It’s awesome!

Now, I know what you’re thinking — you’re remembering the lengthening mascaras of yore that made your lashes look great for a few hours but gave up on life by the end of the day and fell to their dried out and flakey deaths on your cheeks at around 4 p.m. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about lush, voluminous lashes for the whole day with no flakes and very little smudging.

According to my made-up scientific research, it is physically impossible to put on mascara with your mouth closed.

According to the Sephora website, what makes Caution Extreme Lash mascara so amazing is the 4D Amplifier brush that delivers volume, length, lift and definition.  Now, I don’t know about that but I do know that the buildable formula goes on pretty easily and stays put all day. If I start at the roots of my lashes, I can definitely see added length and this mascara makes me look like I have more lashes than I actually do. Also, if I notice a few lashes are sticking together, it’s pretty easy to separate them with the brush, no combing necessary, unless I’m feeling like a total perfectionist. The only downside I’ve noticed is that once in a while, I will find a slight smudge of black under my eye but not often and only if after several hours.

Best mascara ever

To be honest, I’m not much of a waterproof mascara fan, the plasticky formulas always weird me out a bit when I’m washing my face. But here’s the crazy thing — I don’t even know if Caution Extreme Lash is waterproof. Maybe that’s not as curious to you as it is to me, but it’s kind of mind-blowing for a retired beauty editor. This is the kind of thing I usually know. When mascara lasts this long, I just assume it’s waterproof but the packaging doesn’t say waterproof anywhere, nor does the Sephora website. Here’s what I do know, it doesn’t come off easily with soap and water, it just kind of smears but maybe if I scrubbed, it would. Instead, I use my trusty Marcelle Gentle Eye Makeup Remover-Pads for waterproof mascara ($10.49, Shoppers Drug Mart) and removal is easy peasy.

Hey Dana! you might say, “This is a mental health blog, why are you reviewing mascara?” The answer, my pretties, is simple. When doctors talk about self-care, they’re talking about taking care of you — doing the things that make you feel good. And for me, that means wearing makeup. Superficial? Maybe. On the other hand, if I go too many days in a row without wearing makeup, it’s a surefire sign that my mood is in the toilet. And, while it’s true that mascara doesn’t bring me the same level of joy as, say, a trip to Jamaica, or even a sweaty hug from an elated kid who just won a big lacrosse game — happiness is happiness. And, in the middle of the winter, I’ll take any little boosts my mood can get.

Rating: 5 stars

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